I Am Your Disease (The Many Faces of Addiction)

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Five years ago while searching the internet for data on drug addiction, I came over a compelling report by Heiko Ganzer, Lcsw, Casac, of Phoenix Psychotherapy, called "I Am Your Disease." This report tells in horrifying detail, why drug addicted people cannot Just Say No.

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Heiko has taken the comments from many drug abusers and packaged them all together into one "voice." The corollary is I Am Your Disease by the Anonymous Addict. This is a truly bone-chilling report of just what drug addiction is, how the drugs hijack the brain and take over the whole mind and body.

I lost my own wonderful, favorite son to the disease of addiction. While searching for answers to the unanswerable question of "Why, Why my child? Why couldn't my child overcome his addiction?," I found the I Am Your Disease narrative. This report of course hit home. It explained to me the basic fancy why it is so hard for addicted people to overcome what I call the Addiction Monster.

I located Heiko's email on the internet and started a correspondence with him and within a short time, our book I Am Your Disease (The Many Faces of Addiction) became a reality. The book is much more than just that one narrative, although that report is a must read and an highly critical expanding to the book. The book also contains snippets of essays by 8th grade students. What they have to say about peer pressure will shock you.

I gathered stories, 39 of them, and along with mine, there are a total of 40 stories told by parents in their own heartbreaking words, what a child's death due to an "unacceptable" disease does to them. The effects are lifelong and devastating. When a child dies, your own future dies with them. Gone are the dreams of grandchildren from your precious child. There will be so many foremost occasions left uncelebrated. Whether it's your child's graduation from school or college, or their marriage, or any one of a hundred human experiences, these will be denied you and will leave you with the What Ifs. What if we had not moved, what if we had not divorced, what if....the list goes on. Every parent will find themselves riddled with misplaced guilt.

Guilt is a big part of losing a child. We feel guilty for surviving our own child. This goes against the natural order of life. Parents are not supposed to outlive their children.

It's heartbreaking enough to lose a child for any reason, but when your child dies from drug addiction, the parents are dealt a duplicate whammy. We have to allege with our child's death but also have to put up with the comments from the "not in my family" people and also the "well had they been raised better, their child would never have turned to drugs" people.

My husband and I raised two boys, both in the same loving, nurturing atmosphere. Yet one child turned to drugs and one didn't. There is an addiction gene and it right on plays a part in Whether or not a child becomes addicted. But there are many, many factors in play that lead to this devastating disease and science has shown that addiction is a brain disease. It is a chronic, recurring disease that can be treated with medication If the addicted someone will strictly cleave to the program.

At one time in my lifetime, cancer was spoken of in hushed terms. Thankfully those days are gone. Now it's time to bring Addiction out of the closet and recognize it for the brain disease that it is. We also have to stop blaming the someone for being addicted. Most addicted people start down this path when they are young. Young people make mistakes. We all make mistakes. I challenge any of the readers of this report to say that you've never made a mistake in your life. Drugs, however, if you're prone to addiction, will corollary you long after your first hit of cocaine, long after that first glorious high that now compels you to seek more of that feeling.

As my son once told me, "Mom, nobody wakes up one day and decides to be an addict." The smoker of course doesn't rule to be a lung cancer sufferer and the sugar cravers don't rule to have diabetes. Nobody thinks it will happen to them.

If you're reading this, it tells me that you have a strong interest in addiction, perhaps because you or someone in your house or circle of friends is suffering from addiction. I want you to know that you are not alone. Read the book. It will help you to understand your addicted child, what they go through and how much they suffer from their disease. Addicted people need comprehension and compassion, not punishment.

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